The Three Stooges

I'd like to preface this by saying that, no, the Celtics did not deserve to win last night's game. Too many good looks from beyond the arc by the Magic (when the home team goes 13-25 from 3, you don't really stand a chance), too many defensive lapses by the Celtics, poor games from KG, Ray and (to a lesser extent) Pierce. With that said...

NO ONE PAYS TO GO TO A BASKETBALL GAME TO SEE THE REFEREES.

Joey Crawford, Tom Washington and Eddie Rush should have to turn in their whistles and zebra stripes for prison garb, because what they did to the Celtics last night was criminal. The techinical foul situation flew out of control, starting with the dubious double technicals given to Gortat and Perkins because Perk's elbow inadvertently struck Gortat while helping his own teammate up. Because Gortat slaps the ball away, apparently Perk gets T'd up there.

Now, I'd be willingly to live with the first techincal if that's the last one. Unfortunately, Eddie Rush made the executive decision that a) defense cannot be played on Dwight Howard, as Perk gets whistled for the foul trying to play defense. Let me repeat that - Kendrick Perkins got called for a foul playing straight-up man defense. Then, because the call was so obviously bad, Perk throws his hands up in disbelief, walks away from the situation...AND GETS T'D UP AGAIN. Its the fucking playoffs, God forbid anyone show any emotion in the heat of battle with a chance at the NBA Finals on the line.

From the moment Perkins left, the Celtics were left without their best defender for Dwight Howard and vulnerable. With Sheed and Baby left to defend Orlando's behemoth in the middle, Orlando's offense was free to play its style - dump it down to Dwight, watch the defense collapse and kick it out for threes. The Celtics offense was stagnant at best, only Rondo, Pierce and Sheed seemed able to accomplish anything, and whenever the Celtics were able to go on a mini run to close the gap to 6, the Magic came back and quieted the Celtics quick, most notably when Jameer Nelson (apparently playing with a horseshoe lodged in his anus) threw up a prayer of a 3 when the shot clock was expiring...and swished it.

Having said all that, the Celts are still up 3-2. They still have one more chance at home to close this out. Bad Dwight Howard and Vince Carter are lurking somewhere with one more massive stinkbomb each still lodged in their system. But the Perkins/Baby/Sheed situation looms large, particularly if neither of Perkins' technicals are rescinded by the No Balls Association. Ray and KG need to play much better in Game 6, especially Garnett. He has yet to have his impact felt in this series on both ends of the floor, and for the Celtics to advance we need to see more of the Cleveland-series KG.

We'll see you in Boston Friday night Orlando. Please leave your horseshoes and your hometown referees in Florida. Now if you'll excuse me, I heard a knock at the door. Stern sent his goons to put the kaibosh on this blog...can't let anyone know last night game's was a fraud...