No Stogie..

That was excruciating to watch.. double digit lead in the 3rd.. poop night from Kobe.. Sheed playing ballsy with injuries.. starters playing crazy minutes..

and we let it slip away..

Ray sucked.. Kevin couldn't rebound.. Pierce couldn't get to the hole enough.. all when it mattered..

Thanks for the memories Big 3.. most fun I have had watching basketball in my whole life.. but I think the window is closing.. quickly..

NBA draft is in 6 days at least.
And the Sox are two back in the east..

Here's Hoping We Prove The Immortal Bill Russell Right..

Celtics Lakers Rematch Preview

This one should be a doozey...

The stage is set, the storylines are ample, the legacies are all at stake, and the fans are ready.. Bring on the Finals baby.. I think the only thing I can attempt to preview are the individual matchups because the styles are so different in terms of the general gameplay, and the teams have taken such vastly different paths to get to where they are. They have each knocked off some mega stars of the game, Wade, LeBron, Howard vs. Durant, D-Will, and Nash, which would bring one to argue that the Celts had the much more difficult road to the Finals, but now that we are here it doesn't really matter.. 7 games.. first to 4.. let's get into it..

Rondo vs. Fisher
Rondo is obviously faster and a much more compelling playmaker, but Fisher has a little more beef on him and will probably make some key shots at some point just to piss me off.. Still, what is sad with this matchup is I wouldn't even be surprised with 24-9-7 from Rondo for the series even if he is slightly less than 100%..
Advantage: CELTS

Allen vs. Kobe
Kobe is a joke, he's gonna get his 30 points, he's gonna have his black Mamba moments where he hits daggers at the end or in crunch time.. it's a given.. every Celts fan knows this. BUT.. and this is a big but, this is the first series this year where he may actually have to guard someone legitimate. If he takes Rondo, he has to deal with his pesky speed and leave Ray with a much shorter Fisher on him.. If he takes Ray, he will go on the Ray Allen Marathon Basketball Program and run about 12 miles through screen every single game.. Either way I like it for the Celts.. but still, its Kobe..
Advantage: LA

Pierce vs. Artest
This matchup will decide the series as far as I'm concerned.. Artest is what he is.. Tough defender, horrible shooter, crazy human being.. This is still the same dude who melee'd a crowd and pulled Pierce's pants down because he thought it was a good idea.. Pierce needs to let Artest get in his foul trouble, make his bonehead mistakes, and get his open looks on the P&R.. We need you Paul, if ever there was a time to lock in your legacy, this series is it.. go PP
Advantage: CELTS

KG vs. Pau
This will be one of the most scrutinized matchups just because everyone has to question Pau's toughness/physicality, while KG will always be compared to former versions of himself. It's bound to happen. I still say KG can take Pau defensively, even though Pau is a good mid-range shooter and FT shooter.. The rebounding between these two will be most interesting to watch and will probably be huge in the grand scheme.
WASH

Bynum vs. Perk
These guys are gonna bang bodies in the middle. They will both get in foul trouble.. Perk is a little more mobile, Bynum is a little taller.. I don't think this matchup will decide the series in any capacity. I see both of them topping out around 8 or 10 points a game, and contributing much more with their rebounds and inside presence for slashers. Also, Perk, don't get T'd up.. please
WASH

Bench Depth
People keep saying how deep the Lakers are, but I personally see the bench as the largest potential advantage for the Celts in a tight game against these guys, provided 3 balls aren't getting launched all over the place. But you gotta think Sheed, Baby, TA, newly rejuvenated Nate, and Finley is much better than Vujacic, Farmar, Odom, and Walton.. Right? We even have Shelden and Marquis hanging out waiting for some minutes and they have both proven to be perfectly fine in spots.. I think this could swing the series our way entirely if TA is 100% to guard Kobe, and if Nate can be the spark we know he can be.. Sheed and Baby just need to control Pau, Bynum, and Odom when they are in there..
Advantage: CELTS

Doc vs. Phil isn't worth talking about.. Both of them know their teams cold, they both have rotations, they both know when to call time outs.. I know Phil is up 10-1 in the titles, but this late in the season, they both clearly know what they are doing out there..


I hope the Celts can steal one in LA to open this thing up.. Boston crowd is gonna be RAUCOUS games 3-5.. cannot wait..

BEAT LA.

Chapter 12 - The More Things Change...

...the more they stay the same (even Farmar, absolutely one of the six best players in this series...)

10 random thoughts on the eve of the 12th edition of the Greatest Story Ever Told:

1. Rondo and Fisher
Rondo, on the verge of becoming THE point guard in the NBA. Fisher, on the verge of 36 and playing in his 14th season and 3rd straight at 100+ games. Pretty simple for the Celts - exploit this and often. Even if Kobe leaves Ray for Rondo, Ray > Fisher. By a lot.
Advantage - Rondo

2. Ray and Kobe
Ray is on the verge of his second title in three seasons and has probably been the most unselfish of the group. He's changed his game, takes it to the cup, plays D and, most importantly hits money threes. Closing in on 22,000 career points and Reggie Miller in the three's department, he's also closing in on being one of the greatest (if not the greatest) three-point shooter in NBA
history. But can his elevator reach the 12th floor?
Kobe (courtesy of our friends at basketball-reference.com): 4 rings, 6 Finals, 1 MVP, 12 All-Star Games, 3 ASG MVP's. That's good. 1 raped woman, 1 $4 million dollar ring. Hey, Jerry West never beat the Celtics either. Kobe is clearly the better guard here, but as long as the Celtics can keep him out of the paint and bother him enough to yell at Sasha, they've done their job. I can live with 30-9-7 and 4 L's.
Advantage - Kobe

3. The Captain and Ron Roberto (anyone else catch the play on the alcohol, how one is better than the other? No...?)
The Lakers have the ball at the end of Game 1, 5 seconds left, down 1. Inbound to Kobe, immediately gets doubled by Pierce. Passes to Fisher. Covered by Rondo, he swings it to a wide-open Artest for 3. The crowd gasps. Brick. Game over. 1-0 Celts.
(end scene - although I know he's going to be a nuisance and bother the bejesus out of Pierce, I still think he sucks. And is certifiable.)

Pierce - This is, in all likelihood, the last hurrah for Pierce and his Celtic career (unless the unthinkable happens again next year). Drafted 10th in '98, he played his entire career with a chip on his shoulder and stuck through the good ('01 and '02, sadly) and the bad (Pitino, Vin Baker and Ricky Davis, Tankapalooza), all in a Celtic uniform. Then '08 happens. 41 on LeBron and The Dive and the free throw that "Red was looking down" on. Detroit in 6 on the road. The Wheelchair. The Comeback. The Blowout. The righteousness. Here's hoping Paul gets his second ring and his rightful place among the Celtic greats.
Advantage - Pierce

4. KG and Gasol
Pau, you still look like a llama. You are soft. You are ugly. You are annoying and you flop and you whine incessantly. Yet...you have excellent low-post skills (a bizarro Dwight, if you will). You can rebound (granted, against Boozer and Amare). Kobe doesn't yell at you quite so often. He's at least a 18-10 every night, and if he goes off...the Celts could be in trouble. But KG is still KG (sort-of), who will most likely be good for the same 18-10 and a couple of gorilla yells a game. If this were '08, it'd be one-sided. Now...?
Advantage - Wash

5. Perk and Bynum
Perk is injured. Bynum is injured. Perk is ugly. Bynum is soft. Perk draws technicals. Bynum draws the ire of the Zen Master. Perk gets mad. Bynum gives up.
Advantage - Perk

6. The Benches
Odom is essentially the Lakers' 5th starter, another big with a huge wingspan who can run the floor, clean the glass and plays solid basketball (when he's not sugar-starved). The rest of the Laker bench is like Boondock 2 - forgettable (Shannon Brown had a -21 in the WCF). Sheed, Baby and Tony are solid, if unspectacular (provided they're all healthy), although Sheed can refund anyone who saw a game in the regular season whenever he feels like it. Another decided Celtic advantage.
Advantage - Celtics

7. The Coaches
Doc has done a brilliant job all through the end of the regular season into the postseason by limiting starters' minutes, rotating the same bench guys and calling timeouts in all the right places. He's believed in his team. He's got them playing outstanding defense. And he's four wins away from joining Francona and Belichick as Boston coaches with multiple titles. But he's still no Zen Master.
Slight Advantage - Lakers

8. The Crowds
Lakers fans are celebrities and rich fags. Boston fans can tell you the score when you ask and know how to spell the word "beer." BEAT LA and NO MEANS NO > (crickets)
Advantage - Celtics

9. The Series
7 games, no doubt. Both teams are more than familiar with each other, know what to expect and what matchups to exploit. Here's hoping the Celtics starting five goes to 8-0.
Celtics in 7.

10.

Not.. Done.. Yet..

What a game..

After two games which can only be described as "stinkers" or "evidence for federal court hearings against NBA officials" or "reasons to get lasik surgery", the Celts finally came out and threw down a statement game and took care of bidnesssss...

Paul Pierce was firing on each and every cylinder all game long, Rondo was aggressive in the time he was able to play while nursing a bruised hip.. and KryptoNate was a flat out firecracker for the Celts as he boosted the second unit with 3's and PEST-like defense.

One odd moment was KG's karate-chop-a-thon in the first which made little to no sense at the time to me.. BUT it got me thinking that maybe we have a little bit of the 2008 psychopath mental patient Kevin back, and that man flat out scares people and gets in their heads.. If he can keep up the attitude minus the dumb fouls.. look out world..

Doc controlled the pace for the second half with crucial timeout calls every time Orlando showed signs of life with transition 3's or Dwight Howard's signature move.. the wide open power dunk.. Couldn't have played much better against a very talented team, but end of the day, Celtics were a more cohesive unit, played better team defense, and showed why Rondo, Sugar, The Captain, KG, and Perk have never lost a playoff series.. Boom.

Looking forward immensely to this next game in Phoenix, I think the Suns still have an outside shot in this series barring any Artest-related miracles. Amare has to go bananas against the Lakers soft bigs and Nash has to absolutely torch Fisher, but we shall see..

Special shout-out to all those who have served or who are serving currently in our armed forces, I am grateful and proud of what you do every day. Freedom ain't Free. Happy Memorial Day weekend everyone!!

Let's go play some cornhole and eat hot dogs.

BEAT LA! BEAT LA!

D.O.T.D.

Sorry Shelden, you're a turtle dude..

Bright side for you, you might get some playing tonight if everyone else is fucked (Hopin Baby gets cleared to play)... I expect you to foul Dwight Howard 6 times in approximately 8 minutes of playing time if you crawl in there tonight.

Last Night.

The Three Stooges

I'd like to preface this by saying that, no, the Celtics did not deserve to win last night's game. Too many good looks from beyond the arc by the Magic (when the home team goes 13-25 from 3, you don't really stand a chance), too many defensive lapses by the Celtics, poor games from KG, Ray and (to a lesser extent) Pierce. With that said...

NO ONE PAYS TO GO TO A BASKETBALL GAME TO SEE THE REFEREES.

Joey Crawford, Tom Washington and Eddie Rush should have to turn in their whistles and zebra stripes for prison garb, because what they did to the Celtics last night was criminal. The techinical foul situation flew out of control, starting with the dubious double technicals given to Gortat and Perkins because Perk's elbow inadvertently struck Gortat while helping his own teammate up. Because Gortat slaps the ball away, apparently Perk gets T'd up there.

Now, I'd be willingly to live with the first techincal if that's the last one. Unfortunately, Eddie Rush made the executive decision that a) defense cannot be played on Dwight Howard, as Perk gets whistled for the foul trying to play defense. Let me repeat that - Kendrick Perkins got called for a foul playing straight-up man defense. Then, because the call was so obviously bad, Perk throws his hands up in disbelief, walks away from the situation...AND GETS T'D UP AGAIN. Its the fucking playoffs, God forbid anyone show any emotion in the heat of battle with a chance at the NBA Finals on the line.

From the moment Perkins left, the Celtics were left without their best defender for Dwight Howard and vulnerable. With Sheed and Baby left to defend Orlando's behemoth in the middle, Orlando's offense was free to play its style - dump it down to Dwight, watch the defense collapse and kick it out for threes. The Celtics offense was stagnant at best, only Rondo, Pierce and Sheed seemed able to accomplish anything, and whenever the Celtics were able to go on a mini run to close the gap to 6, the Magic came back and quieted the Celtics quick, most notably when Jameer Nelson (apparently playing with a horseshoe lodged in his anus) threw up a prayer of a 3 when the shot clock was expiring...and swished it.

Having said all that, the Celts are still up 3-2. They still have one more chance at home to close this out. Bad Dwight Howard and Vince Carter are lurking somewhere with one more massive stinkbomb each still lodged in their system. But the Perkins/Baby/Sheed situation looms large, particularly if neither of Perkins' technicals are rescinded by the No Balls Association. Ray and KG need to play much better in Game 6, especially Garnett. He has yet to have his impact felt in this series on both ends of the floor, and for the Celtics to advance we need to see more of the Cleveland-series KG.

We'll see you in Boston Friday night Orlando. Please leave your horseshoes and your hometown referees in Florida. Now if you'll excuse me, I heard a knock at the door. Stern sent his goons to put the kaibosh on this blog...can't let anyone know last night game's was a fraud...

I Will Now Go Shit Myself Nervously

Pitching and Defense??

OHHHH NOWWW I GET IT...

So.. If the Sox throw starters out there who toss 7/8/9 innings without allowing a run.. and we score a couple runs.. we will win the game more likely than not? OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOWWW I'M ON BOARD...

How did it take like 6 weeks for this to fall into place? And what's scary to me is the fact that Lackey and Beckett have been poopy.. Imagine when they heat up... Look out AL east... New sheriff in town bitches..

D.O.T.D.

Jason Richardson looks like a seal to me, just does.

That said, I hope he drops 40 every night on Kobe for the rest of this series.. Suns offense has looked ON POINT these last few games.. Lakers can't stop any of them.

Day of the Hump Mind Dump

10 things to chew on while the Phoenix's ashes rise from the desert to spring life eternal into Sun lifers and illegals alike...

1. Our resident Red Nutsack, sorry, Red Sox blogger, Mr. Big Bird, is currently living his second life as Scott Brown's personal chauffeur/ass-wiper/HJer, so in the midst of this Sox awakening (Jonathan Edwards and the original got nothing on this starting rotation), someone needs to step up and fill some shoes; might as well be me.

2. First and foremost, I think last night's game was Theo's Wet Dream over the winter when he envisioned run prevention and amazing starting pitching. It was the culmination of a week long epiphany by the Sox' starters, a 6-1 record over their last seven with a needle-dick thin 1.44 ERA and two one-hit shutouts. Dice-K one-hit an AL-worthy Phillies lineup, Buchholz has been the no. 2 this season and has thrown a gem every time the Sox have so desperately needed it and, as for Lester? Well, he's only 5-0 in his last 6 starts with a 1.67 ERA, gone at least 7 innings in each of those starts (save for last night) and has the early-season look of a very serious Cy Young candidate.

3. "Papi must have rediscovered his eye drops from last year." - Big Bird. Amen to that my friend. Amen.

4. If David Ortiz and the Boston Celtics weren't walking around town covered in flames, Kevin Youkilis would warrant a fair amount of airtime on the Hub and EEI. First in the majors in walks, first in the AL in runs, second in OPS, eighth in total bases and homers. The man can for average and power, hit the ball to all fields, is wildly patient and plays a Gold Glove first base to boot. And at only $9.375 million for this season (compared to the $20.625 for his counterpart and his fraudulent numbers in NY), an absolute steal.

5. The Celtics, despite their best efforts, can still manage to close out the Magic tonight and get an extended rest, thanks to their mind-numbing display in Games 1-3 and Phoenix bench's mind-numbing display in Game 4. Dwight and Jameer abused the Celtics defense with the jagged pick and roll in Game 4, Rashard Lewis actually found the arena and the Celtics looked flat. And yet, despite all that, the C's had the last possession and a chance to win the game. There's no way Rondo throws out another clunker or KG misses his last 7 shots, and Doc should have this team ready to play tonight. If the defense can limit the second chance opportunities and Rajon Rondo plays like Rajon Rondo, those Beat LA tees can make their way back into the Garden - provided the Lakers do their part.

6. Speaking of Showtime, the police can go ahead and put out that APB for the Lakers' bench. Raped, mauled, embarrassed, pooed on - any of those and more could describe what the Suns' reserves did to Los Angeles last night. Alvin Gentry left his subs in for nine minutes in the fourth quarter and Phoenix watched as it turned a two point deficit into a nine point lead. The Laker bench got outscored by 34 points (no, that is not a misprint), Phoenix was able to play some D in the 4th quarter, and Kobe got no help from his teammates. He had 38, 10 dimes and 7 boards - the rest of the starters had 48 points total. Off the bench, Shannon Brown was particularly gruesome (1-7 from the floor, 0-4 from 3, 2 points and a -21...yikes). I know Phoenix has yet to win in LA, but a series has been born, with the next chapter Thursday at the Staples Center. Stay tuned...

7. Hey, ESPN, the conference finals are going on. One of the coaches you throw rumors out there for and don't shut up about is still a participant. One series is tied 2-2 and a potential LA-Boston Finals is in the works. NO ONE GIVES A FLYING FUCK ABOUT LOSER LEBRON AND WHERE HE CALLS HOME NEXT YEAR.

8. No one cares about Brett Favre and if Southern Miss goes to the CWS either. If I were on that squad and heard our performance determined the future of Peter King's lover, what they did to the 1919 Black Sox would be considered lenient.

9. A special thanks this Memorial Day to all those who have fought, served, and died protecting this great country of ours. America could not stand on its own without the heroic sacrifice of all the men and women in our Armed Forces who do more than their part to make this country what it is today. God Bless you all and God Bless America.

10. The stop on the Tour this weekend - the third leg of the Texas Triangle, the Crowne Plaza Invitational at Colonial. The Tour's best assemble in Dallas for the strongest field since the Players, with four of the top six in the world and the past five major championship winners playing this week. Phil Mickelson will have the chance to knock Tiger from his number 1 perch atop the OWGR (Official World Golf Rankings) and equal the number of players not named Tiger who were able to accomplish that feat in the previous decade. With players usually going low and such a large number of high-profile guys in the field, let's get right to it:

The Darkhorse - Steve Marino. Saw a brief glimpse of stardom last year at the Open Championship when he found himself sharing the 36 hole lead with one of the game's legends, Tom Watson, only to fade on the weekend and out of contention. Historically has played well at Colonial (T-24, T-10 and T-2 in his last 3 starts) and will be looking to get his 2010 on the right track in Texas.

The Favorite - Phil. Obviously.

The Pick - Ben Crane. Although he's the slowest player known to man, he's peaking right now (two top 10's in his previous two starts), hits a bunch of greens (10th on Tour) and is currently 8th on the Ryder Cup points list. A win here helps him secure his place a bit higher on that list and gives him a world of confidence going to the US Open at Pebble.

Big Game..

Tomorrow's game is enormous.. I love playoff basketball..

Monday's loss was tough to swallow, BUT, for us to play that poorly and still have a chance to win with 10 seconds left, I'll take it... We won't play that badly again.. PP doesn't have to try to be the hero.. Ray shouldn't have to hit 4 threes in crunch time.

Rondo needs to set the pace, and we need to keep bodies on Howard, no more alley-oops off the Pick and Roll. No more Matt Barnes first quarter garbage threes. No more letting the Magic win the physical portion of the game. No more.

Stay mentally tough.. stay focused.. eyes on the common goal.. Let's go Celts.
I love you guys..

Is that your Ace in the Hole?

Seriously, Orlando Magic? Seriously?

That is your borderline do or die performance in the ECF? Shoot random 3's and dump it into Howard? The same thing that didn't work worth jackshit to win you games the first two times.. Wow.. I think I'm more impressed that they were a formidable team this whole season and postseason before this series.. They really fooled a whole lot of people.. I guess that's the Magic show?

The Celtics are on a rampage. I am actively excited for the next game to see if they can close this thing out..They are playing at the highest level I have seen them play since.. gulp.. 2008 title run in the late playoff rounds against DE-Troit Basketball.. It's legitimately not even worth talking about how much better we are playing than this Orlando team right now, it's just beating a nearly dead horse. The matchups are exploited all over the place.. The Magic have no leader or cohesive offense.. The Celtics are hungry, the Magic are not..

Rondo is out of the world.. Ray and Paul are hitting their strides. The bigs are way too experienced for Howard. The bench looks just tremendous, everyone is behind each other every step of the way. Unselfish, crisp, creative gameplay. Couldn't be happier about the way this team is storming through the playoffs. End of analysis.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjj-YyfKwRE

Doppleganger of the Day

Shelley smith.. sorry honey, I know you're a broad on ESPN and I should look at you the same way as the semi-cute heavyset "5" in my mechanical engineering classes just because of your association with the sporting world, but you have a real Miss Piggy quality to you.. ya just do.. oink.

Can the Red Sox follow suit?

10 random thoughts while the Magic wake up from their nap...

1. Can the Red Sox do what the B's and C's have done already this year? Can they crush our hopes to complete dust, bicker and lose key players to injury, go into the last third of the season with zero hope...only to sucker us back in with good play, vault into the postseason and pick up their play as the calender turns and each game is life or death? A terrific article by Chris Gasper in today's Boston Globe sums up the Red Sox perfectly and one point cannot be emphasized enough - bad teams do not do what the Red Sox did to the Yankees last night. (Although, I know good teams also don't put their left fielder up Jeter's asshole and protest a game because a pitcher got injured. You're a big, wet, stinky pussy Girardi. Change your jersey number to 69 for all the cock you suck).

2. Dice-K statistics (bad innings vs. good innings - and for those of you who don't know what a "bad inning" is, equate it to a Sullnino fart on a 6 hour car ride from Ithaca to Boston...ok, bad example...)
Good innings - 19 IP, 4 ER
Bad innings - 2 2/3 IP, 15 ER.

Is the Dice-K era still salvageable? Granted, his one good start was against a free-swinging Toronto team, but if he can cut out the one bad inning...maybe...possibly...

On second thought...naaaaah.

3. Really Mike Lowell? You had to pick right now to say you're thinking about asking for your release from the club? Of course this comes out now. If the Red Sox were on the same pace as Tampa and Lowell had zero at-bats, none of this would be issue. Of course, its not an issue now. Papi and Beltre are crushing it, no way Lowell > Youk, so it looks like Lowell's the odd man out. Thanks Mike, for '07, you're truly a stand-up guy, but if only you had taken 4 years and $50 mil from the Phillies...

4. Vince Carter is a pussy.

5. Sorry, that was wrong. Let me rephrase that.

Vince Carter is a giant, enormous, humongous, Greg Oden penis-sized pussy. He makes European soccer players look tough.

6. The Bruins....ahhh forget it.

7. I can't believe this hasn't been mentioned in this blog yet, so let me be the first:

If you graduated from, attend, attended, are affiliated with, a fan of or have any remote connection to Boston College - you're a bitch, you have no spine, your sports team are garbage and the general aura around Chestnut Hill is equivalent to the city of Cleveland, Ohio. SuperFan...more like SuperFraud.

8. I, for one, am going to miss Shawn Springs because, unfortunately, it means Jon Wilhite gets more playing time. And that dude couldn't cover a bed with sheets, let alone cover an NFL receiver. What are Brandon Marshall, Santonio Holmes and Lee Evans going to do to him? Egads...

9. Vince Carter is still a pussy.

10. The ten spot will be reserved weekly for the PGA Tour because, well, if you don't like golf, to quote Samuel Jackson, "YES THEY DESERVE TO DIE, AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL." The tour stops this week at Lord Byron's tournament, where Rory Sabbatini (winner of biggest A-hole on Tour award 6 years running) looks to defend his title. Great blog on the scoring conditions at TPC Four Seasons, courtesy of Justin Ray at ESPN.com (http://espn.go.com/golf/blog/_/name/golf/id/5200629/will-nelson-winner-go-way-low). Picking a winner in golf is like throwing Papi a fastball - sometimes he'll crush it, sometimes...yeeesh. So away we go...

The Darkhorse - Tiger. Just kidding, his neck's probably still sore from muff-diving. So we'll go with Webb Simpson, a small, gutsy player who kills it off the tee and has a fairly decent short game. If he can make a few putts this week, watch out.

The Favorite - Hunter Mahan. With a win already this year and playing in front of his pseudo hometown, Mahan should be plenty amped to perform at the Byron and take home the title.

The Pick - Kenny Perry. Played fairly well at the Players and with the Ryder Cup looming, needs to string together some strong finishes to make a push. That, and that's who the dart hit when I threw it at the board.

P.S. - Those white ponchos they give out at the Fens make the fans looks like KKK members, I think I just saw the grand wizard sitting in the front row. Maybe Carl Everett should come back to town...

Game 2 Thoughts..

What just happened?

What fantasy land am I living in where the Celtics just beat a 59-win team that has lost 3 games in almost 3 months TWICE on their home floor? (Pinching myself feverishly..)

Why aren't the Magic using the strategy that won them so many games? Why doesn't JJ Reddick start? Why did the Magic abandon the pick and roll for such long stretches? Why does Vince Carter take the most ridiculously difficult shots possible instead of the easy jumpers or the easy open looks? Why does Dwight Howard think he has developed a move which appears to be "Bambi first learning to walk" combined with "Midget arm baby sky hook"??

Is the answer as simple as: The Celtics are making them make these fuck ups.. or.. The Celtics are just playing better basketball..

I can't say for sure, and I'm sure folks will explode these two wins into somehow equaling four wins by the time the 3rd game is played in approximately 2011.. But I still think the Magic have more fight than this. This is not to say the Celtics aren't prepared to match their style of play no matter what they bring, and maybe they just have their number, but this is certainly going to be an interesting weekend.
Its sadly starting to look more and more like the only way the Magic can get a convincing win is if they magically, pun entirely intended, pull of like a 16/21 3PT shooting night out of their ass and just ruin the pace of play.

Rondo's jumper at the end, in Lewis' face, with the shot clock winding down.. took Sam Cassell sized balls..

Vince's two missed FTs with 30 seconds left.. took pea-sized balls.

Doppleganger Of The Day

This is meant in the most non-racist way possible. This is not a black person slur gone awry. This is not that way at all. Mickael Pietrus actually looks just like a gorilla. It is fucking uncanny.


I will be featuring a DOTD whenever I am inspired. I don't care if someone looks like a muppet, vegetable, or a toilet bowl. If they look like that thing, I am posting it. God bless freedom of the press.

Let's Go Celtics!!

Game 1 Thoughts..

• HOLY CRAP! The Celtics can withstand a late game surge by a talented team!! ... To be honest, I was waiting for that 20 point comeback the entire second half.. I just kept saying "the 3's are going to start falling soon.. uh-oh".. I'm pleased the C's held on, but I never expected the game to be a blowout in the first place.. If you had told be me before the game.. "Celts win by 4 in Disney World" I would have started to pre-cum with happiness..
• Am I completey insane, or are the Magic just as good with Gortat on the floor as D12 sometimes? There were some 5 minute stretches last night where the offense was absolutely seamless with Gortat, and with Dwight, they couldn't get anything going. (And I am not just basing this just on last night, I watched a lot this season too, but last night it showed a lot.)
• I may be completely, 100%, embarassingly proven wrong in a few years.. But I'm going to say something controversial: Dwight Howard has hit his ceiling, this is the best he will ever be. In his 5 years in this league, he has developed 1 post move: the 2-handed power slam. In his 5 years in the league, he hasn't learned how to shoot a free throw or a jumper. HOW HAS NO COACH TAUGHT HIM THESE THINGS??? WHAT ARE THEY BEING PAID FOR?? Yes, I know he's the best rebounder and shotblocker in the league, no questions asked.. but how can someone that amazingly athletic not learn this shit in a sport they are being paid professionally to play? I'm going to completely rip off a caller on D&C this morning.. but.. Al Jefferson went in the same draft, and think about how much his game has improved since he was raw on the celts and how many different avenues he has to score with now (yes, on an awful team, but still.. just saying.)
• Does Jameer Nelson + Kevin Garnett + Vince Carter + Rasheed Wallace - Hedo Turkoglu = another 7 game series? I personally think it does.
• Is there a surgeon who can remove some of the 90 lbs of solid muscle from D12's shoulders and put it into his legs.. Guy's still got sticks for legs.
• Mickael Pietrus still terrifies me.. Maybe its just because I think the Phoenix Suns mascot has escaped from the desert and is going to do an enormous trampoline dunk on the Celtics?
• I think this game probably brought the Magic down to earth, since the Bobcats and Hawks stuuuunk up the place for 8 games.. They will be much more ready in the opening minutes tomorrow night.. no way they go 10 minutes without a single field goal again, not gonna happen.
• I love the Celtics ability to change up their defensive schemes, props to Thibodeau. Round 1: Contain Wade somewhat, keep the shitty role players at bay.. Round 2: Contain LeBron somewhat, keep the less shitty role players at bay, and hope Mike Brown plays all the wrong players. Round 3 (change it up!!): Single-team Dwight with big bodies who are gonna piss him the fuck off.. Cover and run at all the 3 point shooters (5-22, 22.7%)...
• The only thing that killed us was the pick and roll with Jameer when he was hot.. But if that is the their one go-to play for the entire series, I can live with that for 7 games.
  
  

Celtics-Magic Series Preview

I think it's safe to say that nothing we thought we learned from the regular season from these two teams matters right now (season series 3-1 Magic)... Among those 4 games, Magic won in November in a defensive stallwart, Celtics won on Christmas back when the whole team was healthy, Magic won again a month later on an easy layup with a second left as Rashard Lewis exploited KG's injury to the max, and the last game was 'close' if you subtract a 3rd quarter abortion that Celtics had leaving placenta all over midcourt.

Since that time, The Magic have lost exactly thrice (sounds so much smarter than saying three times!!!) since February 26th and the Celtics have risen from the dead and showcased their early season form by knocking the Queen off her throne in 6 games (and it's going totally under the radar how well the Celts actually played because everyone just wants to know if LeBron is gonna leave, perfect).

Like I said, the knowledge we thought we had, has been flushed down the crapper.

Here's what I do know.
I am scared.
I am somehow confident.
And I like to make fun of SVG.

The Magic play a style of ball unlike any other team.. Summed up as: "Shoot 3's well.. Let the most freakish rebounder in the league gobble up the misses.. and play reasonably good defense with athleticism and grit". I don't think anything will be handed to us, but I DO think this style is beatable if we exploit matchups and play some clever mind games.

1) Dwight Howard has the tendency to be a drunk bull on crutches in a China shop made of of paper towels when in the paint. He fouls anything and everything when he thinks he can block their shot into the luxury boxes. I would advise the ball to go to Perk/Baby/Sheed EARLY in every game and get that man in foul trouble. (Not to say Gortat isn't a formidable backup.. but come on, D12 is a FAHH-REAK.)
2) Vince Carter is talented but breakable. Simmons will beat this into the ground because he hates the man, but seriously, the Celtics need to rattle him somehow. I'm not condoning blatently trying to hurt him or whatever, but hard fouls and in-your-jersey defense will get right in his head.. badly. Hopefully he keeps up his "T-Mac" disappearing act in big moments.
3) Jameer Nelson and Mickael Pietrus are really, really good. However, Pietrus mostly just scores in multiples of 3 when he's left wide open, and Nelson has some awesome napolean complex moments where he totally forgets he has 4 awesome players around him and tries to do everything himself, especially when the shot clock winds down.
4) Rashard Lewis... We all remember how badly he torched us last year. It sucked. However, we had Glen 6'8" Davis trying to guard his 6'11" jumper.. There is a person on this roster who can guard him reasonably well. His name is Kevin Garnett, you may have heard of him. He was the one in the $20K suits on the sidelines last postseason.

Final Thoughts:
The Celtics can win if they play (everyone rustle their voice like Doc and say it with me): TOGETHER!
If the Magic shoot threes well (>45% or something), I don't know that anyone stands in their way to the franchise's first NBA title.

Lord help me, my heart may stop working during the series. If you need me for Game 4, I'll be at the Garden.

Yikes..

Apparently 3-0 leads aren't safe in any capacity. I could go on and on about how "now we know how the yankees feel blah blah" just as some backhanded quip to unload a little hatred for the spankees and deny our deep-seeded disappointment. But truly, this was an epic choke job on a whole other level. Never seen anything quite like it.

I would have been basically comfortable turning the game off and going soundly to sleep with about 5 minutes left in the 1st as the B's outplayed, outhustled, and outflew the flyers. Then one of the announcers had to go an say "ya know, the bruins have been outscored 8-3 in 2nd periods in this series..."

.. Then it happened, my heart sank a little, the thought of losing actually crept up.. rest is history.. the next 2 goals happened faster than a virgin swiping the V without a condom.. and the 4th goal was all but inevitable, especially once every single fan thought to themselves:
"Man, I'm so clever.. this game of goal-scoring is happening in the same sequence as the wins in this series.. I'm a regular fuckin Stephen Hawking."

Fuck..

But hey guys!! at least we have a high draft pick.. wait til next year!!!

Bruins Can't Lose This, Right?

The Bruins look to avoid going down in hot garbage history with the 2004 New York Yankees..

I'll be honest, I have legitimately no confidence in this game. Yes, it is at home. Yes, the crowd will be amazing tonight. Yes, they did win the first 3 games (and it seemed easy right?). Yes, we do have the better goalie. Yes, I know all these things. But I just can't scrounge up the feeling somewhere in me to have any real confidence after the last 3 games of poopiness.

Of course, if we score the first goal in the beginning of the 1st I'll be completely overconfident and hope they win 6-0 and just burn the place down.


Final thought: Would the hockey gods really let the ECF not be Bruins v. Habs?

Hot does not describe Mike Brown's seat

Mike Brown...you're kidding, right? Not only did you fail to capitalize on your superior athleticism or take advantage of the fact you have the greatest player on the planet, you pushed an entire city to Threat Level Midnight on Suicide Watch and continued 56 years of sports futility. TNT, I believe his blazer size is 44 long.

We Just Ruined A City...

Has there ever been a second round playoff with so many implications on an entire league?

I can't think of any precedence for this sort of fallout in any sport, any era.

Unfortunately the media will brush the defensive dominance, Rondo's astounding play, and the resurgence of the Big 3 under the rug entirely and just focus on what happened to Queen James. But frankly, I'm OK with that. Bottom line, we're going to Disney World tomorrow, he's going to Cleveland.

I'm still at a complete loss with LeBron's supporting cast. I know everyone expected LBJ to go forward with a stat line of 45-15-15 for the entire series, but the Boston defense made that impossible. What I can't believe is the complete inability for the remaining 11 players on the roster to put forth any true contribution, especially in the second half of any game that wasn't game 3. Mo Williams is a fraud, Antawn Jamison looks at KG the same way a young child looks at his drunk abusive father, and Shaq is the fattest professional athlete I have ever seen who wasn't an offensive or defensive lineman.

How did that team win 61 games? How did the rest of the league not figure out to do what Boston did? What am I missing here?

I'll give my two cents on the Orlando series tomorrow.. Another complete enigma.



PS If LeBron signs with the Bulls.. I will officially be terrified of the next 5 championships being won by Rose, Noah, Deng, Hinrich, and LBJ.. And that would happen, mark my words.